Every Sunday, I bake healthy muffins and freeze them. I microwave one each morning for a quick breakfast treat. One such Sunday last August, I pulled the hot fragrant muffins from the oven, carefully extracted each from the muffin tin and placed it on the cooling rack. I headed off to shower in preparation for church.
On my return to the kitchen, I found that one of the cats had grabbed a muffin and carried it to the living room where it lay half eaten… Who was the culprit?
We were soon to find out!!!
Rascal loves food, but Jackson is obsessed with food, any food, all food. He is particularly enamored with zucchini muffins. Regardless of where he might be – playing, sleeping, bird watching – the buzz of the microwave brings him bounding toward the kitchen. He sits on the edge of the countertop as close to the microwave as humanly possibly in the hopes that a muffin is being defrosted.
Once the muffin is extracted from the microwave, he is relentless. He follows in pursuit. He sneaks up from behind while we relax on the couch, pounces teeth first towards the succulent muffin, grabs a bite and runs for the hills before either of us realizes what hit us. Chasing him is useless. He outruns with ease. He crawls under the couch, careful to perch in a spot just out of reach and greedily gobbles his prize, squealing like a piglet.
The first time I discovered the cabinet open (the one that holds our trash barrel), I blamed my husband. He took the blame the second time, and the third, perhaps even the fourth…he is notorious for leaving cabinet doors open. If he got a vote, we wouldn’t have doors. He has expressed his feelings on a number of occasions that doors lack a purpose. Then, to my dismay, I found Jackson sitting inside the trash barrel, happily munching on cucumber peels. We got a child proof lock. Jackson tried to outsmart the lock to no avail. After 3 days he gave up (or so we thought).
A few days later, John awoke and began his daily ritual of brewing the coffee. He heard a muted “clank” from inside the cabinet above the fridge. Mice, he pondered? He cautiously opened the door – out rolled Jackson, fat and happy. It seems that sometime during the night he had jumped from counter to fridge, opened the cabinet and climbed inside. The door swung shut behind him. He didn’t seem to mind. He ripped a hole in the bag of dried cat food and feasted to his heart’s content.
Jackson had been diagnosed with gingivitis and pre-surgery instructions specified that Jackson have only water after 8PM the evening prior. With a thick black felt tip pen I created a a sign. In read in large block letters “NO FOOD FOR JACKSON“. I taped it to the door of the fridge, “duct taped” the cabinet door shut and headed for bed.
The next morning, the duct tape had been ripped off the cabinet; cat food was scattered on top of the fridge and all over the floor. We were unable to determine which cat was the culprit, but most likely it was our “food monger” baby Jacks.
I made a call to the animal hospital to reschedule his procedure. My guess is that the staff had a good laugh at the story of “a cat breaking into the cupboard”. They had to be thinking, “Hmmm….yet another client who “forgot” and fed their cat in the morning…..why can’t they just be honest!”
We “re-duct taped”the cabinet door, but this time secured it tightly with the rub of a butter knife. A few minutes later, Jackson leapt to the top of the fridge, grabbed an edge of the tape and pulled with all his might. Within 30 seconds he succeeded. “Right in front of us!!”, exclaimed John, “Has he no shame?!?!” We couldn’t believe our eyes!
I bought a large rubber container and sealed the food inside. I placed the container on my kitchen counter. A few hours later, I heard a crash. I ran to the kitchen to find the container upside down, food scattered all over the floor – two cats happily feasting.
After cleaning the mess, I returned the food to the counter and added a heavy can to weigh it down. This seemed to work.
A few days later, John and I departed for 12 glorious days of hiking, food and wine in rainy Tuscany (yes, it rained for 12 straight days in May! – not just rain, but torrential downpours, thunder and lightning). My neighbor was to feed the boys the first evening and the following morning; then the “nanny” would move in and take over. I warned Lynda about their food obsession and the weight having to be left on top of the food container. I taped a “reminder” note to the container. She “yes’ed me”.
Lynda fed them Tuesday evening before heading out for a fun “Cinco de Mayo” celebration where she overindulged (just a bit). She returned to my house the next morning, very hung over, …you guessed it…to food all over the floor! Not a fun cleanup when you are a bit “under the weather”.
After Italy, I returned to the zucchini muffin making ritual (except nowadays the hot muffins go directly into the freezer). I took a quick trip to the J-town Deli to grab a few ingredients – 2 sticks of butter, milk, brown sugar, vanilla…. I returned home and found in my bag only one stick of butter… I swear I bought two! I must have left one behind on the deli counter. I sent John down to retrieve it. I proceeded to make, bake and freeze the muffins… Then I was off to relax in the living room… What do I find? A half eaten stick of butter in the middle of the floor!!
On another occasion we had guests for dinner, the leftover bread was bagged and left on the counter. The next morning, John rose first and found the bag on the floor. The boys had chewed through the plastic and eaten half the loaf. He shook his head, placed the remaining bread in a new plastic bag…and what next? Put it back on the counter…. I woke up an hour later and found the bag on the floor. They had chewed through the plastic and eaten half the loaf When I relayed the story to my husband, his response? “Oh yeah, they did that to the first baggie too”…. Are all husbands dense? 🙂
I have only shared a few of the many times that they have outsmarted their parents – there was the chocolate in our Christmas stockings (luckily not enough to poisen them!); a few times when we have had company and mistakenly left the dining room (and butter dish) unattended to enjoy an after dinner drink on the porch; an empty DQ Blizzard container, left on the table – stuck on Rascal’s head during his attempt to lap up the few leftover droplets of sugary melted ice cream….
Then there are the moths and flies who unknowingly allow themselves to be seen by one of these little cats. With great hand/eye coordination, the bug is stunned with the first swat and then swallowed alive and whole before he (or I) is aware of what is happening.
We can’t leave any food out, dishes can not be placed in the sink or left on a table. I can’t turn my back when cooking or when putting the groceries away. Bread must be kept in the freezer or microwave. To eat a muffin in peace you must lock yourself in the bathroom.
Last week I fed the Scheupp’s Devons. For two days there are two loaves of bread on the counter. The bread sits. Neither cat is interested.
My Devon Rex Kittens 